*it said it's too long for a status so...*Today, I officially announce that my daughter can ride her 2-tire bicycle now!! Woohooo!! I've been kept telling her that she can do it for the past one month but everytime she said "I CAN'T". I just had enough with this answer. So finally, with anger I left her alone after said "IF YOU SAID CAN NOT, THEN YOU'LL NOT BE ABLE TO RIDE YOUR BICYCLE, EVER! YOU MUST SAY YOU CAN". But she still kept saying "I CAN'T". Today suddenly she asked me "MOMMY, USE MY LEGS BEFORE PEDALLING, RIGHT?" I just simply said "YES". At my surprised she said "OK!" ehm...maybe something would happen today. I left her alone and went inside the house watching tv. Then 30 minutes later, perhaps less, she run to me excitingly "MOMMY, I CAN I CAN!" "HAHA...I TOLD YA". Johor, 20-06-11*proud mom*

Today, my son was so angry with his daddy coz was not allowed to play football in our garage (for some good reasons). So he wrote a letter to his daddy. As he doesn't know how to write yet, he drew pictures. First pic (the cover) is a heart with daddy's name inside it. Second pic is a ball with X on top of it (means daddy didn't allow him to play football). Third pic is a person cried (he said it's him). Fourth pic is a person laying in bed (it's daddy who would sleep alone tonight!)...hahaha...good one, son.

-johor, 03/03/11-

lia

Sepuluh hari yang lalu tanggal 4 Februari gue nulis status yang rada rada dalem "If something is yours, no matter how you throw them away, it'll keep coming back. But if it is not yours, even when you think that you hold it tight, it'll just slip away from your hand easly".

Soal maknanya dalem pa gak, tergantung yang baca, yang pasti sebenernya itu keluar dari sesuatu yang cetek banget. Saat itu gue cuma lagi mikir tentang celana kaos gue (ada 3). Satu setengah taun yang lalu, celana-celana itu gue lungsurin ke adek ipar gue yang lagi dateng ke Johor. Dia dengan senang hati menerima. Cuma pas dia bebenah mau pulang ke Jakarta, bawaannya overload dan dengan terpaksa celana-celana itu kembali kepada yang punya.

Ceritanya belum selesai. Akhir taun lalu gue pulang kampung ke Jakarta, gue bawa tuh celana-celana dan rencana akan gue tinggal (tetep buat adek ipar gue). Dan emang gue tinggal. Sampe di Johor dan bongkar barang, masa tuh celana ada lagi di koper gue!! Ternyata waktu gue bebenah dengan dibantu nyokap gue, semua baju yang keliatan dimasukin ke koper gue (termasuk beberapa baju lain yang bukan punya gue dan anak-anak). Jadi bener khan yang emang milik mah gak bakal kemana-mana.

Trus kemaren pas adek gue nelpon dari Jakarta, dia ngasih tau kalo 1 anting (sebelah doang) yang dipake anak gue dia temuin. Padahal tuh anting ilang udah hampir 2 bulan yang lalu. Ketemunya di kamar mandi pula. Hebat emang kalo sesuatu itu emang milik kita yaa...hehe

-Sekedar bercerita di hari yang panas ini, 14 Februari 2011-

*eh ternyata valentine day ya, koq gak berasa apa-apa?*

Some times ago, I went to immigration to change my kids' photo on their passport. I went there with my 3 kids without my husband because he has to work. The immigration office has no elevator so I and my 3 young kids have to climb 3 stories building. Upstairs, I met someone I know. We said hi then somehow she asked me whether I had brought my original documents or not. It's so happened that I left it in my car so I went downstairs carrying my youngest and left my 2 other kids on her guard. When I reached upstairs again, I was sweating like unstoppable rain. Tough day (and it would go tougher...).

After my number was called, I sat far from her (near the counter) waiting for another call. Suddenly this-lady-I-know approached me and asked me some questions as she's not familiar with the procedures in the immigration. So I explained it to her. She went back to her seat but then few minutes later she came back to me asking me to explain it again to her as she was not clear enough.

Then I tried again to explain to her in detail. Whilst I was explaining, my kids started to fight (not sure what it's all about). They kept calling Mommy! Mommy! asking for my attention to report what's happening. I gave them a code with my hand asking them to hold it first but they don't or won't or most probably don't want to understand. Then it got very irritating, not only to me but I think it's more to the lady (as I got it every day). I turned my head to my kids and said, "Mommy's talking!"

And I got an echo, "Mommy's talking!" It was from the lady.

I was about to say 'please keep quite a while' to my kids but the lady asked me to continue my explanation. Then before she left me, she said, "You must discipline your kids! Pray for it!"

It was a tough day for me as well as the kids as we waited there from 1pm to 5.30pm. At that time the only feeling that I had was pissed off to my kids.

That day when I put my kids to sleep at night, I broke down in tears. My tears were for the feeling that I have failed and felt so tired. I thought that I had prayed every single day but maybe I forgot to rest assure every thing to God and let Him be my strengthand lead my way that's why I become a failure and feel so tired because maybe all this while I was using my own knowledge and my own strength. So I prayed to the Lord that if it was the case, please reminds me again and makes me again to surrender completely in Your hands, my God Almighty.

My other part of the tears were for the the-shamed-humiliating-slap-on-my-face moment that I had to come across today.

The rest of the tears were for how-could-she-said-like-that-to-me. She doesn't know me. She doesn't know what I've been going through. She just doesn't know anything about me at all.

Not knowing what has been happening to me, my kids hugged me and said, "Sorry, Mommy." And they wiped my tears. Lord, I shouldn't cry. Thank you for this smile you gave me after all these tears.

This notes are not meant to curse that lady. This notes are simply meant to be a lets-be-an-each-other-reminder for not judging others. Actually it's more to please-don't-ever-get-bored-to-remind-me-for-not-making-a-judgment-to-other-people-as-I-oftentimes-do-it. We don't understand what's other people been through as They Don't Understand ours, just like the title of this song that have touched my heart and I hope it'll touch you too.

They Don't Understand

by Sawyer Brown

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANgkU1sQNE8

A mother riding on a city bus

Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss

Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through

Somebody said don't you even care?

Do you let 'em do that everywhere?

She slowly turned around, looked up and stared

She said Please forgive them

But they've been up all night

Their father struggled but he finally lost his fight

He went to heaven

In the middle of the night

So please forgive my children

(They don't understand)

Everybody's busy with their own situation

Everybody's lost in their own little world

Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true

(They don't understand)

Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow

Maybe we should stop and take a little time

Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through

(They don't understand)

A man driving on the interstate

Slowing down traffic making everybody late

Everybody's staring not knowing what he's going through

Somebody honked from the passing lane

Yellin' out the window, I ain't got all day

The old man looked around and he caught his eye

He said please forgive me

You know it's been a long life

My wife has passed away and my kids don't have the time

I've been left all alone

And its getting hard to drive

So please forgive me, children

(They don't understand)

Everybody's busy with their own situation

Everybody's lost in their own little world

Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true

(They don't understand)

Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow

Maybe we should stop and take a little time

Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through

(They don't understand)

A Man hanging on a wooden cross

Giving everything to save the lost

Everybody's starin' not knowin' what He's going through

Somebody said you don't have a prayer

If you were King, come down from there

The Man just turned His head looked up and stared

He said please forgive them

For they have not seen the light

They'll come to know Me when I come back to life

Go to Heaven, to make everything all right

So please forgive Your children

(They don't understand)

Everybody's busy with their own situation

Everybody's lost in their own little world

Bottled up, hurry it up trying to make a dream come true

(They don't understand)

Everybody's living like there ain't no tomorrow

Maybe we should stop and take a little time

Cause you never really know what your neighbor's going through

(They don't understand)

A mother riding on a city bus

Kids are yelling kicking up a fuss

Everybody's staring not knowing what she's going through

P.S.

I want to thank my friend Gloria Lim Mohan who gave me a book of The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian today at church. I treasure your gift as it's a gift of encouragement without judging because you have listened and shared.

Johor, 24/10/10

-lia-

Hari itu gue lagi marah sama suami gue. Kita sekeluarga lagi dalam perjalanan ke supermarket beli susunya anak-anak. Karna lagi marah, gue jalan lurus aja. Si Babang kayaknya ngelewatin sesuatu yang dia inginkan dan mencoba bilang ke gue. Tapi sekali lagi karna lagi marah, gue gak peduliin, jalan lurus!

Dari sejak dia minta dibeliin dan gak dipeduliin, Babang udah mulai nangis. Ngerengek ato nangis udah jadi senjatanya minta apapun yang gak dikasih (awalnya...). Suami gue nanya, ada apa dengan si Babang dan gue hanya menaikkan bahu. Lagi marah ya khan...ya dong...

Sampai di rumah seperti biasa, tangisan Babang gak berenti sampai 1 jam berikutnya dan udah pasti bikin jengkel setengah mati. Yang paling jengkel ya Bapaknya. Gue gabung ama anak-anak gue yang cewek di kamar nonton kartun jadi gak dengerin rengekan Babang. Trus gue denger suami gue udah mulai marahin Babang. Babang makin kenceng nangisnya. Setelah 5-10 menit berlalu tiba-tiba sepi, gak ada lagi suara dari lantai bawah dimana Babang dan Bapaknya sedang "berbincang-bincang".

Ingin tau apa yang sedang terjadi, gue turun. Ehm...koq rumah jadi bersih ya? Gue ke dapur, Babang sedang buang sampah dan senyum ke gue. Ah berarti keadaan sudah aman terkendali, mending gue balik ke kamar atas aja.

Tau-tau, Babang masuk ke kamar dan mulai ngebersihin kamar. Gue tanya, "Siapa yang suruh bersihin, Bang?"

"Babang sendiri. Babang pikir, kalo rumahnya kotor khan Mommy marah." Wih...beneran nih?

"Bukan Daddy yang suruh ya?" tetep gue rada gak percaya.

"Bukan. Ada di kepala Babang aja." ini bener-bener sulit dipercaya.

"Bang, sekalian kamar Mommy ya." kejadian yang jarang terjadi ya jangan disia-siain khan? hihihi...mumpung banget dasar emak bokis ya...

"Iya, nanti abis ini kamar Mommy juga Babang bersihin." halah...halah...

"Bang!" ehm...Bapaknya manggil dari bawah. Rasanya gue tau nih apa yang bakal terjadi. Bapaknya yang galak itu hatinya cepet banget lumer. Dan Babang turun sebelum sempet beresin kamar gue...yah lewat deh...kecewa berat dot kom.

"Mih, Babang pergi dulu sama Daddy naik motor mau beli permen ya." tuh khan!

"Trus kamar Mommy gimana, Bang?" tetep...wakakakak

"Nanti abis beli permen Babang bersihin." gak percaya...

Pulang dari entah darimana dibawa Bapaknya, Babang pulang bawa snacks dan permen yang semuanya serba 3. Tumben banget Bapaknya inget kalo anaknya harus dapet satu-satu. Selain snacks, Babang juga beli 3 buku mewarnai yang di dalamnya ada sticker. Dari bawah Bapaknya bilang, "Mih, buku gambarnya Babang yang pilih. Bener gak tuh?"

Ah...Babang...dia tau apa yang jadi favorit buat adik-adiknya lho. Buat dia sendiri, dia beli gambar Ben10. Buat adiknya yang besar, dia pilihin gambar Hello Kitty karna adiknya suka dengan segala sesuatu yang berbau Princess, kewanitaan dan berwarna pink. Buat adiknya yang kecil, dia pilihin Thomas karna adiknya yang satu ini jiplak banget sama dia, senengnya yang kelaki-lakian, gak seneng yang warna pink, sebenernya senengnya Ben10 tapi biar gak sama sama dia, dia pilihin Thomas. Kalo ada Spider Man, mungkin dibeliin Spider Man tuh.

Dan tangisan Babang berubah menjadi tawa dan dinding kamar lebih penuh dengan sticker...ay yay yay...

Trus tau-tau..."Babang mau bersihin kamar Mommy dulu ya." yang bener nih???

Dua menit kemudian Babang balik ke kamar, "Udah, Mih!" terbanglah harapanku...

"Makasih ya, Bang." biar deh niat juga udah bagus...

Johor, 23/09/10

-lia-